Friday, May 10, 2013

Living with a Special needs Child

I received this in an e-mail from a dear friend. I had to share this with everyone as it is so well put and truly hits home!


I am a special needs mom. And I have secrets. Things I don’t talk about and stuff that other mom’s don’t know,or may have forgotten along the way...

• Special Needs Moms are lonely. I yearn for more time with friends and family. Authentically, I have a positive attitude and most often you see me smiling. I may even look like I have this SuperMom thing down, am super busy, and have enough help, but I am lonely. Being a Special Needs Mom doesn't leave me the time to nurture and maintain the relationships I really need.I could get super detailed here about the hands-on caring for my child ( Do you remember when your kids were toddlers? That hovering thing you had to do? It’s that plus some.) The plus-some includes spreading my Mom love around to my other child and my husband, who on a daily basis are put on hold, waiting for my attention.I don’t have much time to call or email my friends and even family...and if they don’t call or email me, well then I feel massive guilt about the time that has passed. More negative stuff that I pile on my shoulders. Getting out is tough. I really miss the day’s when I had playgroups with other Mom’s, open-house style, dropping in and drinking coffee at a friends’ kitchen table with my child playing nearby.

• Special Needs Moms have to work extra hard to preserve their marriage. This goes with counter-balancing the high stress of special needs parenting and directly combats the sky-high divorce rates for special needs families. I put extra pressure on my husband, he is my best friend and sometimes I expect unrealistic BFF behavior from him at the end of the day( see #1). He is my hero,supportive, patient and loving- and my kids would be totally lost without him. The success of our marriage, will affect the health of our children. My husband and I haven’t spent a night away from our kids for six years, we “ date night” out of the house every few months, for a two-hour sushi date. Our marriage is a priority so we “ steal” our moments when we can.

• Special Needs Moms are not easily offended. Despite what our social media status updates say, we are vulnerable and life messes with us daily. So really, ask what you want to ask and it’s okay to start with “ I don’t really know how to say this, how to ask you..” I am especially touched when someone cares enough to ask me how my child is feeling,or how to include my child in a social gathering, meal or other event and am happy to collaborate on what will work for us.

• Special Needs Moms worry about dying. We worry about our kids getting sick and dying, we worry about our husbands dying and leaving us alone, but most of all we worry a lot under the surface, and especially about being around to care for our child.We watch people we know grieve the loss of their children and try not to think about it. On the up side-we live life fully and don’t take it for granted.

• Special Needs Moms are fluent in the transforming body language of touch. This is the first language we learn, and sometimes the language our kids know best. This therapeutic natural language can relax, redirect and heal. This should be the first language “ spoken” in every home.

• Special Needs Moms know to savor the gift of a child saying “ I Love You.” For the longest time I wasn’t sure if my daughter Zoe, would ever speak the words. As a newborn, it was her sighs of contentment, - as I held her against my breast, that told me how much she loved me. When she was a baby, it was that peaceful calm that came over her, when I carried her in my arms. The first time she found her words, she was already a little girl, and every time she spoke them I cried. She is ten now, and her words, even more tender and wise. I leaned into her at bedtime the other night, as her hand reached up, caressing my cheek, she whispered...“ I love you Mom, for taking such good care of me.”

Grandpa we love you!

Grandpa you will be remembered in our hearts forever! With God if where you are - a blessing to have you an angel in our lives. We know you have now joined many that are watching over Zak and Callie.

When ever Zak is playing by him self and starts to giggle we ask him who is playing with him. We typically say names of those that have passed and played such and important role in our lives. Today Zak was giggling playing alone on the mat. Although he was not alone at all. I asked him if he was playing with Grandpa Striegel and I have never heard him giggle so loud. This happened 3 times. Thank you Grandpa for coming to watch over us! We love you!

 
May 19, 1928 – May 8, 2013
George Louis Striegel, age 84, went to be with his Heavenly Father on Wednesday, May 8, 2013. He was born on May 19, 1928 in Butternut, the son of George Paul and Clara (Kuehl) Striegel. His early childhood was spent living in Butternut with his mother's family due to her untimely death. He attended school in Butternut and Park Falls. His high school years were during WWII and George and several other local boys worked on the ships on the Great Lakes. He went from Able Body Seaman to Wheelsman and sailed on the William Payne, the James Ferris, and the Frank Armstrong as a Merchant Marine. The Great Lakes ships remained in his heart forever. George began work for the Flambeau Paper Mill in Park Falls in 1950 and worked there for 42 years. On September 1, 1950 George married Shirley Striegel in Park Falls. He was a city alderman for 22 years, an officer of the Price County Labor Committee, and officer in the Local 445 Paper Workers Union, and held several positions on the board of the Park Falls Credit Union for nearly 50 years.He is survived by his wife Shirley of Park Falls; three children: Susan (Mike) Mattson of Eau Claire, Kathy (Dan) Teeters of Wausau, and Scott (Barbara) Striegel of Wausau; three grandchildren: Chris (Annie) Teeters, Jessica (Todd) Stewart, and Robert (Kimberly) Stockfleth; three great-grandchildren: Zachary and Callie Teeters, and Clara Stockfleth; his brother Doug (Bernie) Striegel of Park Falls; and many nieces, nephews, and other relatives and friends.
He was preceded in death by his parents; his stepmother, Lorraine; his brother, Larry; his sister, Harriet Riechoff; an infant brother and sister; and his granddaughter, Sarah Stockfleth.
Funeral services will be held on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 2 p.m. from Peace Lutheran Church in Park Falls. Rev. Gary Lodholz will officiate.Burial will follow at Nola Cemetery in Park Falls
A visitation will be held on Monday at the church from 12 p.m. until the hour of the service.
The Novitzke Funeral Home is assisting the family.
In lieu of flowers, memorials to the Teeters Family 3rd Party Special Needs Trust would be appreciated

A link to Grandpa's obituary: